Eat the crust

If you don't eat the crust, I have no respect for you. I'm especially talking about pizza, because I think there are way too many people out there who do that. Whenever I see a plate with just pizza crust on it, veins in my head start to pop out. There are also some people who eat their sandwiches without crust. I submit that each of these people has some kind of neural disorder that has yet to be discovered. Since I'm the first one, as far as I know, to suggest that such a condition exists, I would like to name it. It shall be called "gigantocuntism." I also suggest that treatment will include removal of the gonads, since they're not being used anyway. Seriously, can you be a bigger pussy than a guy who doesn't eat the crust of his sandwich? The answer is no. You cannot.

Another subject that is a bit touchy with me is the pronunciation of the word "sherbet." It would seem that many of you would like to pronouce the word as if there were an additional "r" in there. It's not sherbert. It's sherbet. What amazes me is that the sheer number of people who mispronounce this word is enormous. It would seem that a vast majority of people, at least of the ones that I've actually discussed the subject with, pronounce it "sherbert." Many of them will realize their mistake and change their pronunciation of the word after I correct them, but some INSIST that the word is pronounced like "sherbert," regardless of how it is spelled. Apparently this is the opposite of a silent letter in a word. Rather than a letter in a word that isn't pronounced, it's a pronunciation in a word for which there is no letter. Makes sense. This is why I have lost faith in the human race. People are much, much dumber than I used to think they were.