Go away, you bother me

I want to apologize to my faithful readers (there are about two of you, I think) for the lack of updates recently. I really have been busy lately. And to tell you the truth, I've become a bit disillusioned with my blog. I mean, what's the point? I write a few lines, maybe someone gets a laugh, but what does that all mean in the grand scheme of things? The answer is that I don't know. So here's an update.

If you know me, you'll know that I'm bothered a lot. Things bother me that other people don't even really think about. I think too many people just go through their lives and don't really think about the stuff they're doing. They're ignorant of the world around them, and ignorance is never good. Ignorance may be bliss, but it never solved any problems. Instead it creates them. Here are some examples of things that I don't like that you probably never really thought about:

• Riding horses. Have you ever thought about the horse? Do you think he wants your fat ass on top of him, with the saddle and all those straps and shit? How could that possibly benefit him in any way. Oh, you're gonna give him a carrot when it's over. Or some oats. Yum. Do me a favor. Next time I need a ride somewhere, let me hop on your back and you can run me around town. And I'll hook you up with a snack. But you better behave or I'll whip you. Horse racing is the worst form of this, because it's only done so people can make money off of it. Take a walk or get something with wheels.
• Having pets. When you're alone is when you should be getting your best thinking done, not playing around with an animal. Seriously, what's the point of a pet? All they do is eat your money. Dogs are dumb, cats are annoying, birds are more annoying, and caged rodents serve no purpose whatsoever. You're people. You should have people friends. Think about it. You have to feed your pet, clean up after it, train it, take it to the vet, get people to look after it while you're gone . . . how can it be worth it? The animal didn't ask to be your pet anyway.
• Cancer walks. I'm all for curing cancer (or whatever the disease may be). And I'm all for collecting money for it. Hell, if I actually had some money I would donate some of it. But what's with the walking? Get the money! Forget the walking! People should give you money because you're trying to cure cancer, not cuz you're gonna walk for miles on some track. It's all about massaging people's pathetic egos to make them feel like they're actually doing something. The money is what they need. Not the walking. Hold a fundraising event. Sell stuff door to door. Ask for donations. Do what you gotta do. But lose the walking, and any other unnecessary, unproductive activity.

Some other thoughts of the day:

There are way too many caveman-like people walking around out there. I swear that about one out of every twenty people is a Neanderthal. Prominent brow, protruding jaw, lack of mental capacity, ogreish appearance. Next time you're walking down a busy street, especially in a downtown area of a big city, take a look around you. I guarantee you notice a few troglodytes out there.

In other strange appearance news, what's with these people who look like they just saw the greatest thing they've ever seen ALL THE TIME. You must know a person or two like this. Huge eyes that are always wide open, grouper-like mouth agape, always smiling.

Ok that's it for now. I'm gonna try to get another update or two on here this weekend, but don't count on it. I have to look at some recent news stories and see if any of them are worth commenting on.