I was molested, ya see

I've got something that I've been meaning to tell people but I've been too afraid. But now since so many other people have come forward with their stories, I think I can as well. I was sexually assaulted by Bill Cosby. It was about two years ago, and I was in the bathroom of a service station in Buffalo, New York, when the one and only Heathcliff Huxtable walked in. I said, "Wow, Ghost Dad! Can I have your autograph?" That was a mistake. He gave me his autograph, but not the way I wanted it. He pissed it onto my white t-shirt like a child writing his name in the snow. I just stood there with my mouth open. That's when he went for Mr. Johnson . . . oh god, I can't continue. It's too traumatic for me to relive like this. That Ghost Dad is a bad, bad man.