Gimme a literacola

Probably my favorite thing is watching the water in the toilet change from blue to green. You know what I'm talking about?

Sometimes I'll be sitting in class, and I'll space out for a while. Then I'll come out of it, but forget that I'm in the middle of class and start to whistle or drum on my desk. People will start to look at me, and I soon realize that I should not be doing that. But I can't just stop right away. I have to kinda fade out so I look like I knew what I was doing the whole time. Yeah, I know I'm doing a Marching 110 drum cadence on my desk while the prof is lecturing. So what? Let me just finish up here and . . . GO OHIO dooba dooba doo.

Sometimes people get mad at me for using the word "retard" as an insult, saying it's insensitive to people who are actually retarded. But I look at it this way: I was once called a retard by an actual retard. Well, not exactly. It was more like, "you a wetawd." But I got what he was saying. And I think that gives me immunity. You homo.