thoughts of the day

Have you ever seen a woman somewhere, maybe the store, who is pregnant or has a baby, and you think to yourself, "Who the hell had sex with her?" This woman is so hideous she doesn't need to dress up to win the best costume contest at Halloween, you know what I'm saying? Then you might get a glimpse of little Biff's daddy. And if you do, you immediately understand.

Speaking of this, I think that two good-looking parents will generally produce good-looking offspring. But I also think that two ugly parents will produce attractive offspring. And the uglier the parents, the better looking the kid will be. It's like multiplying two negative numbers - the result is positive. That said, one attractive parent and one not-so-attractive parent can be BIG trouble.

I really get irritated when people say "pardon me" when they don't hear something someone said. And they say it like it's a question. "Pardon me?" It's not a question. It's actually a demand. Please, just say "what?" It's quicker, more effective, and not quite so English. "Pardon me, Guvnah, could I trouble you for a wedge of cheese?" Yuck.