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Sometimes I like to run up to someone on the street, or in a restaurant or other public place and say "OH MY GOD! IT'S YOU! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?" I also like to carry around a polaroid camera and take pictures of random people, and have them sign it. "To Brad, my #1 fan --Charlie Jones (or whatever the name may be)." Then I like to hang the picture up in my room. Then when someone comes over, I show off my autograph. "Can you believe I got Charlie Jones' autograph? Yeah, I just saw him on the street one day. It was amazing."
What's the deal with people who weigh 800 pounds? You would think at some point before that they would say "ok that's enough," and go on a diet or something. If you have each foot on a different bathroom scale and are still going over the weight limit, that is a problem.
Why is it that every boxer ever has the nickname "Sugar," but nobody in any other profession? Hey, did you see Sugar Jim Riley bag those groceries? If you bag groceries, chances are you don't have a nickname, unless it's Slow or Special. Aww, man, Special Sam put the rock salt on top of the bread again.
I got punched by a pregnant woman yesterday. At least I thought she was pregnant. That may have been the problem.
posted by Brad @ 4:09 AM
2 Comments:
I suspect that when you weigh 500 pounds, you basically say "hey, what difference is another dozen cheeseburgers gonna make?"
*Morris Workman
www.morrisworkman.com
workmanchronicles.blogspot.com
dvtsports.blogspot.com
When I was working at K-Mart in HS I once had a lady come through my line and I said "How are you today sir, err, I mean mam?" She got all pissed and said the "F" word a few times while I apologized, talked too much, dug a deeper hole for myself and began to cry. Okay, I didn't cry, but the rest is true.
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