Carson Daly

There are a lot of people who are on television. Some of them deserve to be there, and some of them don't. But how do the ones that don't belong end up on TV anyway? Well, the answer is simple. Sucking dicks. That has to be it, because it is the only explanation I can come up with that can show why Carson Daly, and people of his ilk (including one Mr. David Holmes, whom I had previously complained about) get to have shows on television. Think about it. What does Carson Daly really bring to the table? Is he funny? No. Is he sharp and quick-witted? No. Is he entertaining at all? NO! Is he boring? Quite. He is a no-talent hack. He is a bum. He is a bum with a television show for no apparent reason. Folks who host late night television shows are supposed to have redeeming, entertaining qualities that make people want to watch - you know, charisma, sense of humor, and those such things. Letterman, Leno, O'Brien, Ferguson, Kimmel, Stewart - they all have talent. They have qualities about them that make people interested. Carson Daly does not. He is bland. He's vanilla. Hell, he's not even vanilla. He's flavorless. He's tap water. Yet he has his own television program.

I urge you people. Watch his show a couple times. See if you can find anything entertaining at all that was actually something of Carson's doing. You won't. Because there isn't anything. I would rather watch Nancy and Jan filling paint tubes or vacuum-saving strawberries on an infomercial than watch Daly's show. Hence, I come to my conclusion. He's a dick-sucker. He's in some gay executive's pants and that keeps him on the air. So, if there are any serial killers out there, or anyone who's thinking about becoming a murderer, or anybody who just feels really motivated by my complaints, please add "Kill Carson Daly" to your to-do list. Thank you. Goodnight now.