Kids do the darndest things

"PADUCAH, Ky. (AP) - The youngest Kentucky child to be charged with murder in decades likely will receive counseling and therapy in a setting away from a state juvenile jail, experts say. The 7-year-old boy is charged with killing his mother's boyfriend on June 27."

This whole story has really gotten me choked up. But that's not because a man was murdered. It's because I am just now realizing that I completely wasted my childhood. If only someone had told me when I was 5 that I couldn't be tried as an adult and that the only punishment I would get would be some counesling sessions or mental therapy, I would have been going through the hills on a killing spree, I'll tell you what. It would have been the funniest killing spree ever, I think. I would have worn some dress clothes, and nice shoes, and combed my hair really nice. I would have looked like it was picture day at school. And I would have carried around my Transformers lunch box. And when I happened upon a suitable target, I would have struck up a conversation with them. Eventually, the following exchange would take place:

Me: Do you like my lunch box? It's Transformers.
Target: Yeah, kid. That's a cool lunch box.
Me: Wanna know what I'm having for lunch?
Target: Sure, kid.
Me: [opening box to reveal gun] You, bitch.

Click, click, boom.