the beginning

Welcome to my blog. I'm glad you decided to join me. Trust me, you want to read this. You NEED to read this. It's kinda like breathing. If you don't do it . . . something happens . . . probably bad . . . well whatever. As you've probably noticed, I really like using ellipses (. . .). Here are some other things I really like using: Miracle Whip, low-octane gasoline, and leaves (instead of toilet paper). On the other hand, I HATE parentheses. If I see one parenthesis, I'll just freak out. Anyway, on to business . . .

Some thoughts of the day:

I went to the dentist the other day. Man, if I always brushed my teeth as well as I do before I go to the dentist, I would never actually have to go.

Speaking of brushing my teeth, I don't understand why I brush with my right hand yet I pick my nose with my left. Does everyone else have a specific hand that they pick their nose with or am I alone on this?

I really need to change my last name. The right last name can mean everything for you. After watching Congressman Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) in a video in Elections and Campaigns, i'm convinced that he's one of the biggest doofuses in the country. What a freakin' goof. But he could walk around town naked and take dumps on the sidewalk and he would still get elected by a landslide because he's a Kennedy.

Ashlee Simpson's performance at Halftime of the Orange Bowl is one for the history books. Best thing I ever saw, hands down. If they ever had a contest on who's voice could crack the most while "singing," she'd be the World Champion, with William Hung a distant second.

What's the deal with guys who have to tuck their shirts in ALL THE TIME. No matter what they're doing, that shirt has got to be tucked into those pants. Hell, they even do it if it's underwear and a t-shirt.

Speaking of shirts, this Nick guy at basketball has worn what would seem to be the exact same bright yellow shirt every single time he has played. Subsequently, two questions spring to mind. One - is it actually the same shirt, or does he have a closet full of them like Superman? And two - if it is the same shirt, does he wash it? My nose wonders what the answer is to that second question.

Advice of the week:

You're stupid. The sooner you realize it, the sooner we can all get on with our lives. You know who you are. I'm not sure if that counts as advice though.



On a side note, this blog was started because Dan Whitmyer and Mrs. Megan Moore needed something to read while at work to help them while away the hours. So if you have a problem with it, take it up with them, and not with me. Because I'll kill you, and they (probably) won't.